Stay in Touch - Sharing Groups/Circles
For personal growth and community issues these groups/circles are a very powerful process for positive change and direction.
Within our community people live in fear of going out after dark and some places during the day, we have become dis-empowered as a individual, there is no space where we can be heard about our fears within our community.
We have feelings of not being important, how we feel is not going to make a difference, we feel distrust and fear with people within our community, and due to the lack of council involving members of the community in having a say in its growth, Apathy has set in and our communities have become separated.
There are communities that have turned things around and are nice places to live in, they will have group gatherings which bring community together.
In my community in New Zealand we have all types of groups that attract like minded people, they have helped in us as a community to show the council how we want our community to be like in 2020 and the council are supporting our decisions.
Sharing groups/circles, create a safe and supported space. When experienced, we realize that we are not alone in our feelings and views. The groups bring people together and create positive change on all aspects of our life.
All of a sudden we feel not only important, we also feel part of a team. But most of all we are being heard, these feelings lifts our spirit.
This process is great for clearing negative feelings, beliefs and issue’s. More so in circles as the energy spirals within the circle in the direction the people want to go. This will make way for positive change on a personal and community level.
Groups can be scattered sometimes, but circles hold the energy in the direction it wants to go, if we are looking for positive change a circle will create that flow.
Some guidelines with this process allowing the change to flow at a healthy pace.
They are: -
NO INTERRUPTING.
It is good to have a talking stick or any object, so that when someone is holding it nobody else is allowed to talk.
This allows the talker the time and space to express how they feel and put their view across.
Quite often in relationships and debates the talker is often interrupted before they can fully express themselves.
This creates some people to domineer others, this Dis-empowers the talker which will not help for a positive direction.
When we hear someone fully we get a clearer picture and the talker feels good to have been fully heard.
IT IS THEIR STUFF.
This means that when the talker is talking it is how they feel and they see it, it relates to their experiences in their life.
We all have different experiences in life therefore we all see it differently.
If we allow the person to express themselves fully, they would listen to everyone when it is their turn. We would also learn a lot more about life as well as get on a lot better.
We all have our own stuff to deal with, when we react and cut in on others this prolongs the issue, which creates more confusion and separation within community and relationships.
JUDGMENT AND BLAME.
We do this a lot in our society, through the media, at home, at work or in our communities.
This is sad because it takes us further away from resolving our issues. It also takes the responsibility away from the individual and puts it on others.
Remembering they already have a lot of stuff to deal with, judging and blaming creates a negative reaction, which in turn creates a negative outcome.
Having compassion, understanding and forgiveness are powerful words and would go a long way to resolving our issues and creating peace not only in our communities but also in our world. They would heal issues very quickly.
ALLOWING IT TO FLOW.
By not interrupting and having compassion etc, it allows the energy of the group/circle to flow positively, and for those in the group it will free them up to speak freely without ridicule, judgment or being domineered.
After all we are trying to create either a better life for ourselves or within our community.
With these guidelines and this process a space is created with Trust and Support, which in turn creates positive growth.
Also more important it brings people together for the highest good of the community, which puts a halt to the separation that exists.
Other ideas for types of groups other than a main group at the community center could be;
Men's Groups;
In England these groups are hard to find, I believe because most of us have been conditioned not to show our emotions, so we have learned how to suppress them.
In New Zealand they have been growing rapidly for the last 10 years.
In America they have been around since the 60's.
Most men come in contact with these groups if there have been traumatic times in their life, like a break up in relationship or a loss of a family member or their life is just falling apart.
If they are fortunate to not fall into an addiction to suppress their emotions they will probably search and find a men's group or people to help them.
My experience in almost all men is that this helps resolve personal issue's and create positive change and direction in their life.
Women's groups;
These have been around for many years, they naturally come together and talk about how they really feel.
Because of their feminine nature they listen, support, nurture and release their emotions in a healthy and natural way.
Family Groups;
Not too long ago (30 years) most families lived in the same community, families were the foundation of community. These days the majority of families are scattered all over the place, which is why it is important to create new groups.
Most of my family live in NZ and some still in England, those that are in England live in two different towns.
Most of our issues originate from our families and childhood.
Those that are in reach, it would be a big challenge for them to try and come together to express how they feel,using the guidelines above.
Allowing them to speak their truth, without reacting with judgment and blame.
Street Groups;
Neighborhood Watch has been around for a long time, I'm surprised that they have not expanded into more of a support group for the community. Those families that are scattered all over the place, street groups are the closest they could get to family life, because they are their neighbor's.
We should be able to get on not only with our neighbor's but also those living in the street.
Street groups could come together and help those that are struggling or live in fear. This would lift their spirits and give them the strength to eventually get back on their feet.
There could be street parties every year instead of every 25 years, there could also be games and activities between one street and another.
I can not think of a better way to create stronger communities than people helping one another in their street and having healthy competition between streets.
One parent family groups;
In most of our communities there are families that have broken up and children that do not have their natural father or mother around.
These children need fathering or mothering or to put it another way they need male and female energy. If they miss out on these aspects their life would become unbalanced and they could become rebellious, its not their fault, they are just children growing up and trying to find their way.
So these groups can create outings and opportunities to bring into balance whatever they are missing out on.
Also a solo parent will have their hands full on doing it all alone so they will need help, support and even time to themselves now and then.
Retirement groups;
In this day and age there are a lot of retirement villages where they are well looked after.
There are also those that choose to stay in their own homes, some are on their own and with all the fear created by the media a lot shut themselves in and some are left die in a awful way.
This should not be happening to people that have not only worked and brought up families all their life, most of them have been through the two world wars which was to create a more peaceful world.
Retirement should be relaxing and enjoyed not tense and living in fear.
Youth groups;
At the opposite end of the scale to the elderly we have our youth and they are the future.
Our communities should be offering them support in time of need, activities with adventure in times of play and creative knowledge through education.
A lot of crime and unrest within our communities is caused by idle minds with nothing for them to do.
Recently I have met a few classroom assistants that work with the under 11's and they say they have circle time, but not all schools. Still it is good news to hear that they are using the process with young children, they are our future.
Residents Association groups;
Each community could have one of these that plans for the future of the whole community, how they would like it to look and be.
Look at areas that need support and create character so that people will feel proud of where they live.
These are just a few of many ideas and opportunities that would come out of Sharing Groups and circles.
I use the name circles as well as groups because my experience of circles is that the energy within a circle is contained and will spiral positively in the direction it chooses.
This has been the case in all my experiences because the direction sought is one of positive change.
I look at it this way, what we put out we will get back and remember one day it could be you that needs help, will there be support in your community to help you?
Some of our community are involved in group sharing, to help and support them through and out of Alcohol and drug abuse and its working for many of them.
Our communities are in a similar state only its fear, distrust and separation.
We should not have to wait till we are a alcoholic or heavily into drugs to experience this type of sharing.
If this process was part of our culture,the percentage of addicts and criminal activity in our society would be much less.
If you would like to set up a group in your area and would like more information or help in doing so, e-mail me on geoffsjourney@yahoo.com.